This is something that I'm working on.... What do you think?
Have you ever looked at your family and realized how broken it is? I have. My sister is someone who thinks she is better than everyone else, while she still lives at home and doesn’t help my mother pay the bill. My brother is a junkie and still lives at home. My mother, even though we don’t speak at all now, was the backbone to our family for so long. Now she doesn’t care to try and get her children together again. As for our father, he abandoned us long ago and hasn’t shown a care for our wellbeing.
It wasn’t always like this. We used to get along so well. We played games, shared stories and told each other secrets. We stood up for one another while my mother’s verbally abusive boyfriend, Steve, lashed out on us. Steve mostly lashed out on me. I was always the odd ball in every situation. I always chose to associate myself with people who had things that I didn’t have, but wanted. While my mother worked two jobs to pay the bills, because Steve was using all of her hard earned money on drug and alcohol.
That was the worst when he was drunk. That is when he chose anything that bothered him and took it to a new extreme. It’s as if he wanted to pick fights with is, like it made him feel better to bring three little kids down, so we would see him as something he wasn’t.
I started to work early at age, fifteen. I wanted to be able to get the things that I wanted, and it helped me get away from Steve. He didn’t stick around long after that. It’s as if he was only there just to yell and degrade me. My mother kept to herself after that. She would go to work, come home, and go to her room. She didn’t cook or clean for us either. So me; being the responsible middle child took care of my older brother and younger sister.
I never received any gratitude from them or my mother; they all just assumed I would do it. Eventually I moved out and left them to their own fates. I question myself about that one action frequently, wondering if I made the wrong decision. Here I am on the biggest day of my life and I have no immediate family here to celebrate it with. It’s just me, in my own little house, alone.
To this day I have very little friends, which I guess isn’t a bad thing, and I’m a doctor. Today was my graduation day. I call my mother to tell her, but she doesn’t answer, she never answers. I leave her a message, but I know she won’t call me back, she never does. I think she blames me for my sibling’s failure, because I abandoned them when I turned eighteen, but I didn’t want to be a caretaker anymore. She missed out by locking herself up in her room every night after work.
She works at a little grocery store in the small town of Southbridge. Nothing happens here; except for drug dealers and druggies with wanna be gangs. When I left to college I never returned not even to visit. That doesn’t mean I don’t care. I even sent them money every few months to help them get by. Did I receive a thank you Emily? No I just keep getting shut out.